The next show segment opens with CW Anderson and Perry Saturn in the ring ready to square off.CW ANDERSON VS. PERRY SATURN
MARK MADDEN: All right, we're back! To mine and Don's most pleasant surprise, Ian Sims has pulled Jerry Beasely off of commentary and Beasely is now doing interview duty. Thank God!
DON CALLIS: That's right, Mark! The FCC probably would've shut us down had we let Beasely call play-by-play any longer!
MM: Up to the ring! Anderson and Saturn square off, and Anderson snatches an armbar and begins working Saturn's left arm. You can definitely see the Anderson influence on his style, Don.
DC: Absolutely! Lars, Gene, Ole, and Arn Anderson ALL used this strategy with great success for years!
MM: Saturn up, and he rolls one way, kip-ups the other way, and ducks under and takes Anderson over with a modified Fireman's carry! Saturn with an armbar of his own, now!
DC: Perry Saturn is such a diverse individual in spite of the fact that he mainly known as a hardcore ECW wrestler. As are ALL of the ECW "insurgents" as The Prince likes to call them.
MM: No argument here! Saturn maneuvers Anderson into a hammerlock. Anderson elbows his way free! Anderson hits the ropes, and Saturn low dropkick takes out Anderson's leg!
DC: Saturn seems to be taking a page out of the Anderson playbook. Only he's targeting the left leg of Anderson here.
MM: Right! Saturn with several kicks to the hamstring of Anderson's leg, and now he applies an step-over toe hold, and converts it into an Indian Death Lock!
DC: My point exactly, Mark!
MM: Saturn pulls Anderson up and whips him off into the ropes, high knee to the face! Saturn near the ropes measuring Anderson, Saturn charges Anderson, and eats a spinebuster!!! 1...2...Saturn out at 2 & 7/8ths!!
DC: Whew! ECW nearly lost another one!
MM: Remember, you're supposed to be impartial out here, "Cyrus!" Anderson, bad leg and all, hammerlocks Saturn, scoops him up, and hits a hammerlock bodyslam! Anderson, showing the effects of that Indian Death Lock earlier, tries another hammerlock bodyslam, but his leg gives out and Saturn lands on top of him 1...2...Anderson slips out at 2!
DC: Saturn waiting for Anderson to get to his feet. Saturn lifts Anderson up into a Fireman's! If he hits this it's over!
MM: And he does! Death Valley Driver on Anderson! 1...2...3!!!
DC: Saturn can chalk up another win!
MM: Saturn manages to pull off a win for the ECW Insurgents! With that, let's go to Beasely in the interview area with his guest at this time, Prometheus!
JERRY BEASELY: Madden, if I was interviewing this guy's f**kin' opponent here in a minute, Fartboy, he would be my guest! But, I don't give two s**ts about Prometheus here
(Prometheus looks oddly at Beasely, then shrugs his shoulders in a "whatever!" gesture)! So, say what you gotta say Motherf**ker!PROMETHEUS: Beasely, you get uglier every d**n time I see you, which I thought after awhile would be impossible! Anyway, I got to go one-on-one with one of your inbred cousins/brothers, Fartboy, here in a minute. He's nothing more than a roadblock in my way, and i intend to mow him down and obliterate him. And if his redneck brother Fatboy or his toothless Mama get involved, I'll be sure to Flatline either one of them just the same! Now get your stank ass the hell outta my way and let me take care of business!
JB: Yeah, I'll show you my "stank ass", Prometheus! Anyway, Madden, you and Callis can do your f**kin' jobs now!
"Dueling Banjos", the theme song of the Hillbilly Hitmen, is playing as Fartboy is in the ring doing his "Moonshine Shuffle" with his brother Fatboy and his Mama. Suddenly, the music stops and the ring announcer introduces Prometheus as he makes his way to the ring. Prometheus enters the ring and gets ready to start the match.PROMETHEUS VS. FARTBOY
MM:The bell sounds, and this bout is underway! Prometheus ducks under Fartboy and executes a high waistlock takedown on Fartboy. Prometheus grapevines Fartboy's legs, and paintbrushes the back of his head!
DC: Fatboy and Mama sure didn't appreciate that gesture, what with Mama screaming "sumunab**ch!" in my ear five times in three seconds.
MM: Prometheus and Fartboy lock up again, and Prometheus gets a side headlock. Fartboy pushes Prometheus off, shoulderblock! Prometheus hits the ropes, over Fartboy, hits the other ropes, and gets a hiptoss for his trouble! Fartboy scores a Japanese Armdrag. Dropkick, and Prometheus is over the top and out! Fartboy doing his moonshine shuffle in celebration!
DC: I thought Rolling Rock was their alcohol of choice, Mark! Whoa! Did you see that?
MM: Mama just slapped the taste out of Prometheus' mouth!
(Mama follows up with "There, ya goofy bas**rd!!!" Crowd busts up laughing!) Oh, man! Mama might have bought herself a load of trouble! Prometheus is ticked off!
DC: Prometheus is stalking Mama around the ring. Fatboy steps in front of her and dares Prometheus to make a move! Prometheus up on the apron trading verbal jabs with Mama and Fatboy, and Fartboy gets a roundhouse kick into the kidneys of Prometheus! Fartboy slingshots Prometheus in the hard way!
MM: Fartboy sends Prometheus off the ropes, he hits a "butt-butt" that connects squarely in Prometheus' face! Cover 1...Prometheus kicks out!
DC: That's called the "Culpepper Stinkface" according to our director. Fartboy in command now!
MM: Fartboy tries a clothesline, but Prometheus ducks, and catches Fartboy with a hangman's neckbreaker! Prometheus scores with a kneedrop to the head. Prometheus lifts Fartboy up, and hits a fisherman's buster! 1...2..., Fartboy strong kickout! Prometheus again lifts Fartboy up into what appears to be a variation of the Torture Rack backbreaker, but swings him around and hits another hangman's neckbreaker! Hooks the leg 1...2... Fartboy with another strong kickout!
DC: Fartboy must've had liberal amounts of Southern Comfort, Wild Turkey, or just plain old moonshine tonight, because he's taking everything Prometheus can dish out. And Prometheus can dish out A LOT!
MM: Indeed, Don! Prometheus scores with a double underhook suplex. He rolls Fartboy onto his stomach, chickenwings both of Fartboy's arms, and flips over and holds a bridge! Fartboy's shoulder blades are practically breaking out from the skin of his back!
DC: This is a Japanese derived submission hold, and Fartboy's in a lot of trouble! But he's hanging in there!
MM: Prometheus finally turns loose of the hold, and hits a vertical suplex on Fartboy! Cover 1...2... and 3/4!
DC: Fartboy STILL won't concede defeat!
MM: The Hillbillies are tough customers, Don! Prometheus arguing with the referee, and he's not paying attention to his opponent, and he gets schoolboyed 1...2... Prometheus narrowly escapes defeat, and cuts down Fartboy with a superkick!
DC: Prometheus giving Fatboy and Mama on the outside an "Up Yours" gesture, and Mama is trying to get in the ring and Fatboy is holding her back.
MM: Prometheus is playing with Fartboy now. Prometheus lifts Fartboy up for another suplex, but Fartboy vaults behind him, and hits a scorpion deathdrop! Both guys are down, and the ref begins to count.
DC: Prometheus to his feet first, and he tries a right hand, but Fartboy ducks and nails a right of his own. Prometheus tries another right hand, same result! Fartboy now with several unanswered shots. Fartboy with an eye poke, followed up by a stomp to the foot. Fartboy whips Prometheus into the far ropes, powerslam! Fartboy making a comeback!
MM: Fartboy stomping a mudhole in Prometheus! Fartboy picks up Prometheus, back suplex. Fartboy pulls up Prometheus, and scores with a "Stump-Puller" version of the piledriver! Fartboy with the hook of the leg 1...2... kickout! Fartboy kick to the gut, Prometheus doubled over. Fartboy of the ropes, and hits a swinging neckbreaker! Fartboy drops three knees onto Prometheus' sternum. 1...2... Prometheus barely slides his shoulder out!
DC: We could see an upset if Fartboy keeps this up. He's been hinting through his work as of late that he could be a breakout star here in XCW!
MM: He's taking a former World Champion to the limit here, Don! Fartboy hits a front spinebuster on Prometheus! Another cover 1...2...Prometheus BARELY getting the shoulder up!
DC: Fartboy definitely on a roll here, Mark!
MM: Just as you mentioned, Don, we could see an witnessing an upset in the making! Fartboy sends Prometheus off into the ropes. He tries for another spinebuster, Prometheus headbutts Fartboy and he drops him. OH!!! Prometheus hits a flatliner!!! 1...2...3!!!
Prometheus is declared the winner. Fatboy and Mama climb into the ring to check on Fartboy. Prometheus sees this, and suddenly, his face flushes with anger. He grabs a chair from ringside...DC: Prometheus has snapped again! He just drilled Fatboy with that chair, knocking him out of the ring! He's now setting his sights on Mama!
MM: Mama not backing down! She's right up in the face of Prometheus, giving him a dose of that Hillbilly spiced swearing. Prometheus finally calms down and drops the chair. Thank God!
DC: Prometheus for once took it easy. He looks like he's turning to walk away, OH GOD!!!
Prometheus suddenly whips around, grabs Mama, and nails her with a flatliner. Crowd then gasps in horror, then boos Prometheus.MM: Don! Did you see what Prometheus just did!?
DC: He dropped a old lady on her head with tremendous force! We need an ambulance now!
MM: And this despicable JERK isn't the least bit remorseful!
At this point, the crowd cheers and Dragonfyre hits the ring. Prometheus gets out and sprints to the back. The EMT's then come down with a stretcher.MM: Fans, we'll be back after this. Jeez!!! She's hurt badly!
The show cuts to commercial as Dragonfyre grabs the mic and yells "What the HELL is wrong with you, psycho!?"CUT TO COMMERCIAL